Orthorexia

http://www.salon.com/2015/01/30/were_clean_eating_our_way_to_new_eating_disorders/ Orthorexia, a word that sounds kind of made up. Like something else for health obsessed people to obsess about. Well yes actually. That’s exactly what it is. Except it’s actually people being obsessed about what they eat in a way that they actually have a fear of food. I’ve experienced this personally. I once nearly cried when I was given a sandwich. And not with gratitude like I would now. Mmmmmm sandwich… Picture this: I’m visiting my old work place where there is this awesome caretaker who is the sweetest man in the world. I haven’t any lunch or money for some reason. He comes up and very sweetly gives me a toasted sandwich. I can’t really explain why this gesture is so sweet, basically he has noticed that I haven’t eaten and has given me his lunch. And I suddenly go into a panic. This is a sandwich on WHITE BREAD! With CHEESE! OMG. I can’t possibly eat this. I’m really hungry but if I eat this I will definitely get fat. And the world will practically end. So I’m in this awkward situation where this man who I kind of adore has done this really sweet thing and looked after me but I can’t eat it. So I have to dispose of the sandwich quietly so he doesn’t get offended. And what do I eat instead? Nothing. I eat nothing. I somehow believe that eating nothing is better than eating a delicious cheesy goodness sandwich. I wish I could go back and talk to myself on that day and be like, this is awesome, people care about you, please care about yourself and eat the fucking sandwich. You idiot. Sometimes it’s just about getting the food into the mouth. And that’s o.k. Food is fuel. Not poison. P.S, I ate a particularly badass bacon sandwich for breakfast today. On white bread. I’m probably going to skinny person hell.

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